Blonde Moments

I’ve been thinking a lot about this blogging thing. It’s fun to do, and I love to write. Like anything, I do have motivation behind it. The biggest is a creative outlet, and a way to reach out to other people. Stay at home momming is a huge blessing, but can be really isolating. The other (smaller) part of it for me, is monetary. I realize that you should never “blog for financial gain. Just do what makes you happy, and the rest will fall into place.” Ok. I guarantee you that are countless bloggers out there, that started out because they were sick of explaining to their husband why they needed something new to wear, from Nordstrom. You know, hypothetically speaking. I know you’re out there, DONNA. 

There are millions of ways to blog; as in millions of things to write about, times to write, reasons to write, and on and on. Lately, my whole thing has been do I have what it takes, to take it to IG influencer status? Lol for days at the word influencer, btw. Here’s the thing: Lyla’s health has been a “no news is good news” situation; plus,do I want to share details of her life as she gets older? Not really. Plus, strangers seeing her picture. No thanks; aside from all of that, I’m either too lazy or too busy to put the time in. I’m very much ok with that, by the way. Our society makes us feel like we need to be busy to be happy. That’s literally the opposite of how I live my happy little existence. So, I’ll continue to share when I feel like it, or if something big is going on in our little CF bubble. I’m just at an impasse when it comes to what my sense of direction is here, which I’m totally content with. 

Moving on, some of what I’m living for lately: 

Um. Andy Cohen’s west coast shower. I know most of you feel me. Lisa Rinna is everything. Kyle is fabulous. I cannot get enough. 

Our new furniture is coming this weekend. This is better than Christmas in my brain. I channel all of my compulsion into my home - for better or worse. So, this is huge. We’re also doing a few other little decor changes. Bigger things to come throughout the year. 

I’ve watched and rewatched Grace and Frankie, I don’t even know how many times. Lyla and I have each been sick, and it’s been freezing out. So we’ve just been laying low. 

Things that I’m not loving so much: 

(And by “I’m not loving” I mean that you as my reader might not love it, but I’m going to share it anyway) 

We’ve been listening to The Lion King soundtrack, and I’ve decided that I’m really not looking forward to Beyoncé as Nala (in the new version, coming this summer TO A THEATER NEAR YOU). She’s gorgeous, a great entertainer, and can sing like 800 times better than me..but I don’t really care for her voice. I feel so good that I said that out loud. Whenever I think of her singing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” I get very agitated. 

Are you caught up on the news? The actor from Empire who endured a hate crime in Chicago, Jussie Smollet, was called the N and F word, had bleach thrown on him, had a noose place around his neck, and sustained broken bones (I want to say ribs, but I can’t quite remember..). While this was happening, the attackers were apparently chanting “this is MAGA country” or some bullshit. What f*cking year is this? Why I’m bringing this up, is because I really need a MAGA supporter to speak up, and say how horrific this is. Anyone? Please? To restore my faith in humanity. People that I love, are on the Right side, maybe not to this much of an extreme, so I get it. This, however, should not be the spokesmanship that you signed up for. This is unpopular, and tricky territory to mention in a little stay-at-home Mom blog, but it’s happening and it’s very serious. Why shouldn’t we talk about it? What’s taboo here, exactly? 

On that note, stay warm out there, and be accepting of one another

XO, Luci 

Blonde Moments

We’re on our way to Lyla’s clinic appointment. I’m obviously not driving. But I am irritable. So irritable. Lyla has a runny nose (but seems ok). We have to see a new doctor today. It took me 3 hours to get through the Dirty John finale this morning, because there was just so much other (little) stuff going on. Not a big deal, I know. Anyway, I’m just moody. I would bet that I’m 100% nicer after her appointment (granted all goes well. I’m thinking that it will). The most important thing though, is that Lyla is not in a bad mood like I am, and is quite happy. That wins over anything else that I’m salty over. 

I’ve been thinking about 2 different thoughts quite a bit lately. Just the 2 thoughts, guys. That’s it. Kidding. But one is victim shaming; the other has to do with millennials, and if we’re missing out on the joy of certain things, because everything is so available to us. 

1. Victim shaming. Have you watched Surviving R. Kelly? I have not been able to stop thinking about the survivors. They’re incredibly brave; and heartbreaking at the same time. I also mentioned that I’ve been watching Dirty John. If you aren’t familiar with either show, all that you need to know is that they’re primarily about vulnerable women being taken advantage of - some women that you would never think would be in these situations. Men have manipulated them, brainwashed them, gaslit them, and abused them in every way. Men who are powerful, but really have some deep issues; and are sociopaths. I need something “light” to watch desperately, now. When I get really into something, I like to read forums or pages dedicated to whatever it is. Please tell me that you do that, too. One theme that I’ve noticed is that a lot of people out there aren’t very sympathetic to the victims. There’s an awful lot of “it’s sad but I was so frustrated seeing this woman allow herself to get to this point” or “yeah it’s terrible what he did, but how stupid is she?” In the case of R. Kelly, there a lot of people that do not understand some of the parents’ point of views. “How could they let their daughter go to his recording studio?” Don’t you think that these parents are living with that thought, every single second of their lives? It’s kicking them when they’re down. It’s really easy for people to say things like that, when they don’t understand. While I do understand the frustration and confusion, it makes me sad to see such a lack of compassion. In the time of #metoo, I don’t see how things can truly be resolved if we’re still blaming victims. What about the guy who never dealt with his childhood issues and is now taking it out on impressionable woman? Or the Harvey Weinsteins/R. Kellys/Les Moonves’/Donald Trumps surrounded by handlers that enable this behavior, and encourage their sick power trips? Personally, I do have a little experience with this kind of manipulation, in the form of emotional abuse. It’s not something that you can understand, until you’ve been there. That’s why I wish that more of us could approach these situations with more kindness and compassion; or wanting to understand, rather than just “throw away” the reasoning behind it all - at least from the female’s point of view. I’m really lucky that I matured, and happened to meet a wonderful partner to create a really happy life with. So yeah, I’m good now, but I know how sneakily and slowly sociopaths can control you; to the point that you don’t even know how to get yourself out of it. In my case, it was finally just walking away and never looking back. I forget what my point was entirely, but please just try to remember that we’re all human (except for R. Kelly. He is a monster), and if you don’t “understand how she let this happen” you really have no idea how ignorant you sound. It goes a lot deeper than you even could imagine. The only way to bring these men down, is to take away their power (money, popularly, etc.), so let’s stop giving it to them, by giving the victims the love that they finally deserve. 

2. Ok. A tad lighter. Being a millennial. As you may have noticed, I have a love/hate relationship with my phone (technically in general, really). It’s great to be able to look up whatever you want, whenever you want; talk to friends and family; buy a movie; listen to a song... I could go on and on and on. Here’s what I miss though: something like going to Blockbuster to pick out movies for the weekend. Ask my husband, I still have a huge hangup about Blockbuster. I miss it so much, and a lot of times, still use it as the ultimate representation of simpler times. I miss the novelty of things. Everything is so readily available. We had a fantastic Christmas. It really was magical with a 2.5 year old, but do you know how many Santa’s we could have gone to see? Thanks to Facebook, I was aware of like, 87 different places that would be featuring “A SPECIAL VISIT FROM SANTA CLAUS!!!!!” Not so special when he’s literally everywhere. It definitely gave me pause, and made me think of when I was younger. He was at the mall, and Sheraton for brunch. That’s it. It was a big deal. I don’t necessarily think this is bad, but to me, it takes the fun out of everything. I hardly leave my house anymore, thanks to Amazon Prime. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there is an element of uniqueness and enjoyment missing in certain things, and I 100000% think that it has to do with current and growing technology. Personally, I’m going to try to scale back on using my phone (even more than I already try), and just enjoy the moment - especially experiencing new things through Lyla’s eyes. Am I nuts, or did this all make sense? I think I’m just longing for simplicity and novelty. This is a really interesting article from buzzfeed (I know), and while it’s more about job searching for millennials in this day and age, it still touches on readily available information, etc, and how it’s causing anxiety. An example is that it can be really difficult for a 30 year old to mail something out, because they’re used to doing things online. That’s pretty ridiculous, but I’m afraid to admit that I kind of get it, and I don’t like the fact that I get it. By eliminating some use of my phone (iPad, whatever), I’m hoping that I might enjoy things like running errands more. My anxiety always seems to go way down, when I set my phone down. This is just something that I’ve been thinking a lot about, especially since Christmas, and ALL of the Santa’s. Like calm down. 

Again, I have no idea what my points even are today. It feels nice to write, though, so thanks for reading. Also, feel free to tell me that any of this made one iota of sense. Or don’t, because it feels really freaking good to take a break from interneting. 

Here’s to being kind to ourselves and to others XO